Peace Begins Here...

You guys, I have a confession to make. I’m tired. Beyond tired; I am exhausted. I feel like I am on the verge of tears more than I’m not. Just like what most people around me are going through - all over our community, our nation, and our world there are millions of people without jobs and income. People who are worried about their health, the health of their families and loved ones, people who are relegated to the confines of their home – to do nothing.

And that’s scary. To combat this invisible enemy – COVID-19 – the most we can do is NOTHING. We are a people that are designed to fight, to defend, to be active in preserving our life, and here we are, doing nothing. And by doing nothing, we are doing something. Weird, right? And in the midst of doing nothing, in the isolation brought on by “social distancing” many are unable to work which only perpetuates the desperation and anxiety.

From the 1995 film, "Outbreak." Looks eerily
familiar to today's society.

And it is in this desperation that our doors at Care Net SoMD remain open. And since we are open, we are following all state mandates and orders including operating on a skeleton staff to meet the increasing needs of those families around us. Hence, exhaustion.

I have staff dependent on me for direction. They are also dependent on me for protection and continued health as well as income. Many in our community are without income and therefore without means to obtain supplies for their babies. There are babies who are hungry and naked, with parents who are not prepared for the war that is waging.

Care Net SoMD's Teal Mobile, which served
approx.120 families in its first week during COVID-19 Outreach

I have my own pressures too…sleepless nights which translate into long days and a low threshold to handle life's new chaos. There is an increasing threat to our family’s income as my husband stares into the face of being furloughed.  And I have my own son who I am trying to protect and shield from this looming darkness that seeks to devour us all. There is an increasing amount of guilt over the fact that I am coming home, tired and worn, and have nothing left to give those I love most in this world.

So today, at my end, I gave into the mounting pressure. I dropped my son off at my mother’s and came home … and cried. I poured out my heart in prayer and longing to God. I asked Him all my questions. I told Him all my fears. And then I cried some more.

I am no different than you; I don't say these things for your pity, it's just where I'm at. I love my job and it is an honor to serve my community. My heart has been so full as young children hugged me as we gave their mother a few diapers they so desperately needed. Or when mothers cried tears of gratefulness when we were able to give them the formula for their babies that they couldn't find in the store. Or the formula that they could no longer afford. My soul has been overwhelmed seeing strangers approach us with more supplies so we can continue doing this much needed work. But the personal challenges - the spiritual challenges - are pervasive. I don’t have any more answers now than I did before. I don’t know how all the problems will get fixed. I don't know how to provide for the growing need all around me. I don’t know how to keep going. But the beauty of it all is that I don’t have to know. And neither do you.

You can’t control ANYTHING around you. But you have access to the One who can. There is a song by Mosaic MSC that says, “Jesus Jesus, you make the darkness tremble. Jesus Jesus, you silence fear.” It is the name of Jesus that brings peace, comfort, and strength. It is the name of Jesus that drowns out fear, overcomes darkness and brings life.

If you are struggling, I urge you to do one thing: Just say, “Jesus.” Close your eyes, and say His name over and over and over again. If you are feeling overwhelmed and filled with anxiety about how to face tomorrow, just say His name. If you have bills you don’t know how to pay, just say His name. If you have never said a prayer in your life, just say His name.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:7

His name isn’t a magic wand that you wave around and Abracadabra! you have all you want. Nor is He like a genie in a bottle. But He is God; He is sovereign, and He alone knows your desperation, loneliness, fears, and pains. And when you call to the God of this universe, you call to the One who intimately created you, and is the only One who knows how to meet your needs.

You may not get any more answers, but you will be more in tune to the One who has all the answers. Call to Him – Jesus – and every time you say His name, you will find your load is just a little bit lighter. And that is where peace begins.

*If you are in the Southern Maryland area, and you are in need of diapers, wipes, formula, or baby food, call/text us. We may be able to help you. Also, check out our website: www.carenetsomd.org for information about the services we offer at no cost to you.