It's His Job

We co-sleep.

My son is 18 months and we have found so much joy in having that extra time for snuggles, cuddles, and giggles.

Don’t get me wrong -  along with the snuggles and cuddles, there are definitely kicks, slaps, flips and flops. He doesn’t mean to wake me with a gut-punch in the middle of the night; he’s just a very restless sleeper.

But in the stillness of the morning, I love to watch him. He sleeps so peacefully in these moments (of course when I am already awake) right next to me. Sometimes he will wake just long enough to reach out for my hand or to wrap his arms tightly around me. And then he instantly calms and relaxes, drifting off to baby-dreamland.

Sometimes, while he’s so calm, his inner gymnast comes out and he begins to roll, flail, and even flip himself over. I am ever watchful, and will always guide him away from the edges of the bed; regardless of how sudden his movements are, he is always safe. I make sure of that. Other times, all he needs to calm down is to feel my hand on his back; it’s enough to know I am near.

As his mother, it’s my job to know what he needs. And I do all I can to make sure that he is provided for, cared for, and knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is safe and loved.

Do you ever have those moments where the world seems to stop spinning, just for a second, while your brain and heart finally seem to connect? As I watched this same scenario play out for the umpteenth time earlier this week, and I felt my love for my son surge through my body, I realized that this was one of those moments.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)

So this is what Your love for me is like! I whispered in my spirit to the God of the universe. I quickly recalled several moments/seasons in my life where I lived very much like how Brody was sleeping: dangerously close to the edge, sometimes needing lifelines to bring me back into safety. I suddenly had a deep understanding that despite how much I had moved away from – and even flailed against - God, not only was He still there at each moment, but His heart surged with love at the mere thought of me. He didn’t just check on me from time to time when He wasn’t busy with someone else’s problems; His eye is on me. It always has been. It always will be. He knows where I am, what I am doing, and my innermost struggles. And He reaches in and grabs me, pulling me into His arms to remind me that I am not alone; that I am safe. It’s His job.

So if you feel like you are flailing around, falling aimlessly through space – you aren’t. If you feel like you are alone, that whatever problems you are facing are too big – they aren’t. And if you feel like you are dancing precariously on the edge with no one to catch you – He will. Regardless of the decisions you need to make, the battle you have to fight, the war you just can’t win – you are not alone. You never have been. You have a God who sees you. You have a Friend who will never leave you. You have a Father who loves you – far better and far greater than you could ever know.

Just trust Him. Be willing to forget your doubts and fears. Reach for Him; He will make sure you know that you are loved, safe, and your needs are met. He has never failed you and He never will.  

It’s His job.